MY STORY

MY STORY

Most of us have a story to tell about our weight, our struggles and our hopes.  

Between the second and third grade my abdomen grew exponentially to my body. I can remember sitting at my desk with my belly lying on my thighs.  I knew something wasn’t right. 

Third grade was the first time I was put on a diet. It became an ongoing thing as long as I lived at home.  I was called fatty, fatso, etc. Yeah, those words hurt but no more so than hearing people say, “You have such a pretty face, but…..” Oh I knew what was came after that but….BUT YOU’RE FAT!

School was not a happy place. Home was not a happy place. I tried my best to blend into the walls and just not be noticed! Because when you are fat and you get into an argument or confrontation as a kid, you know the ultimate blow will be, “WELL YOU’RE FAT!”   Knock out!  There is nothing to say after that! 

I was a sad girl who tried to get people to love me by giving gifts and making gifts.  I remember one Christmas I had been up until early morning finishing all the beautiful gifts I had made.  Ponchos, shawls, foot stools, trinket boxes, clothes, etc.  I went to bed after opening gifts and didn’t wake up until the meal was already being served.  As I walked into the dining room, I heard my brother say loudly, HURRY AND EAT, HERE COMES CARYN!  I don’t think I even ate that day, but I never forgot the words and they still sting 45 years later.

I began a journey to find that thin person that was locked away somewhere inside my body.  The things I have done to my body in the quest to overcome being fat.  Starvation (fasting 6 days a week and eating one day). Diet pills, every kind that was on the market.  Fad diets.  Weight Watchers.  Nutrisystem.  Counting calories.  Hynosis.  Experimental drugs that nearly killed me.  Even having my stomach stapled.  None of it worked long term.  Back in 1999 and 2000, I decided to eat clean and exercise. I lost about 100 pounds but I was exercising 6+ hours a day.  I wasn’t working then unless you count exercising! Lol

When I hit 60 I decided, I’M DONE!  No more trying to lose weight. No more depriving myself.  No more diets.  No more anything!  I’d just take my chances.

And then Skinny Fiber came along. I thought.  Ok, I’ll try it and if it doesn’t work, I’ll return it and get my money back.  Even though I’m a diabetic and have an almost non-existent thyroid, I have lost about 60 pounds in the past 18 months.  I’m thrilled to be off my blood pressure medicine,  arthritis medicine, and acid reflux medicine.  My thyroid dose has been decreased.  My fibromyalgia is about gone.  I’m on my way to losing more weight and getting to the size I want to be.  Even my dr. is amazed with my progress!

And I move my body!   Walking or jogging.  Dancing like a fool.   I’m moving my body like nobody is watching.  And if they are, in my mind they are all yelling, “YOU GO, GIRL!”

So what is your story with your weight? What struggles have you faced in the battle to lose weight? It doesn’t matter whether it is 10 pounds or 100 pounds, our struggles are the same. 

And know this:   there is hope.   No matter how old or young you are.  No matter how fat you are.  No matter how little you are now moving.   There is hope.  I'm proof of it.

Help someone while you help yourself and share your own story.  Or just put it into words for yourself.  You will be glad you did.  I am.

copyrighted 2015

caryn cannatella

Skinny Fiber Sales:  www.caryncann2.com

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/Caryncann

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Caryncann

Fan Page:  https://www.facebook.com/mylighterside

Weight Loss Support Group:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/CarynsChamps

BEAUTY ISN’T MEASURED IN POUNDS!

BEAUTY ISN’T MEASURED IN POUNDS!

Why do we believe this?  Because everywhere we look that is what we are told. 

When we go to the dr, they weigh us and that is what they make their determination on.  They don't ask "have you lost weight?"  They just assume you are a big fat pig who never does anything but stuff your face.  “You need to lose weight.”   “I am.”  “You need to lose more.”   I bite my tongue and hold back stinging tears.  What I want to say is, “Bite me!”   But I don’t.  Because when you are fat, anyone and everyone has the ultimate weapon against you.  All they have to say is “YEAH, BUT YOU ARE FAT!”  End of discussion; end of argument.  You go home and lick your wounds.  And sometimes the spoon after you eat that pint of ice cream.

They never ask if you are doing any exercise.  They ASSUME that if you are fat, you are lazy and certainly could not be walking, or jogging or working out.   You should see the faces of people (and drs) when I tell them I jog and that I have completed a 5K.  They give me that poor pitiful look like “sure you have”.   Sometimes knowing the truth is all you have.  Hang on to it.

And I've never had one dr in 62 years ever comment about my beauty.  Not my nails, not my hair, not my make-up, not my clothes, not my smile, not NOTHING!

Then look at tv, magazines, award shows. newspapers, etc.  Models and celebrities are photo shopped and air brushed to make them look thinner, prettier, younger, etc.   And then we, the everyday woman, thinks that is what we should look like.   And if we had a nutritionist, chef, hair stylist, make-up artist, trainer, someone picking out our clothes for us, an air brush artist, a photo shop expert, etc., we would be looking darn good too!

Our beauty is not limited to the house we live in.  Just like the home we live in, the house our inner self abides in does not tell the entire story.  Haven't you seen a beautiful home before and you knew the family inside didn't not reflect the outside appearance?  Same goes for us and our bodies.

Instead of always looking at your body and defining and judging yourself based on the pounds on the scale, why not try looking at the REAL you who resides inside your body.  Being fat does not mean you are automatically a good person.   However, I know many many overweight people who are the salt of the earth, nicest, most giving people around.  They will give you whatever they have and go without.  Many times they do it without a thank you and sadly, many of us do not even expect a thank you.

The next time you step on that scale and you start to judge yourself for the numbers going up or staying the same, just take one minute to stand in front of the mirror and say out loud: 

I AM NOT JUST A PERSON WHOSE BODY IS FAT.  I'M A GOOD, LOVING, LOYAL AND GIVING PERSON.  Embrace that part of YOU.  Your spirit.  Your being. 

Remind yourself of that daily.   Let that sparkle from knowing this dance in your eyes!  Others will see it even if they don't acknowledge it.  The most important thing is that YOU know it, see it and acknowledge it.

Your beauty is not measured by the numbers on a scale.  Only numbers are. 

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

Skinny Fiber Sales:  www.caryncann2.com

CONFESSIONS OF A STRUGGLING FATTY

CONFESSIONS OF A STRUGGLING FATTY

I’m struggling on my last weight loss journey.  Yes, I’ve been stuck on a plateau for the last 6 months.  I still haven’t gotten back to jogging regularly since my car accident.  But those aren't really the problem.  Those are just temporary setbacks. 

The loss of weight has not and still is not apparent in all of my body.  Because of the over 50 years of gaining and losing over and over my skin has no elasticity.  My lower abdomen is just a huge flap of mainly skin.  The last time I weighed it, it was 25 pounds.  If I lived on 1000 calories a day the rest of my life, it would still be there.   It feels like a parasite feeding off of my body.   Underneath this appendage, my stomach is flat.  I have looked in the mirror so many times in the past few months with my stomach lifted so I don’t see it.    I look small and normal.

The other part of my body that is so out of proportion is my upper arms.  They are just humongous and have decreased very little with all the weight I have lost.  When I look at my arms, I see my normal size fore arm attached to an upper arm that is the size of a thigh.  It’s bizarre looking to say the least.  And it’s frustrating.  

It’s very difficult to buy clothes to fit me.  My pants have to fit over this huge stomach.  That means they will be baggy in the legs and waist.   Last week for the first time, I actually noticed that the seams on the sides of my pants end up being about 3 inches on the front on both sides of my hips.     My waist is about the size of a 14.  But my stomach requires an 18 most of the time.  The same with tops.  My torso is a large or x-large.  My upper arms are a 3x.   I had someone tell me not too long ago (in a very loving way), “Girl you need to get a shirt that fits you!  That one is about to fall off!”  It was.  Off my body.  It fit my upper arms.

The only way I see to have a body that is really my body is to have cosmetic surgery.  It’s expensive.  Very expensive.  Especially since I only want to have it done in a hospital and not a surgical center. Every day since January 1^st, I have put it out there to the universe, “I am going to have my surgery by January 2016.”   I tell you.  I have no idea how that will happen.  I just know in my heart it will.

Until then, I am going to keep working my program and get back to my jogging.  I want to lose 60 more pounds by the end of the year.   I know that after my surgery I am going to feel like a prisoner who has been released from their prison.   My body will at last be the body it should have always been.   And that person who has been kept hidden inside for over 50 years will be freed!

Yep, I’m struggling but not giving in or giving up.   I’m back on track and I see the finish line.  I’m the only one who can get me there.  And I’m going to make it if I have to crawl across that line with bloody knees that no longer have any cushion in them!  I have come too far to ever give up!

My plea to you is this.   If you are overweight please don’t wait until you are 60 to decide you deserve to lose weight and get healthy!  Don’t use your weight as an excuse to put off living.  I’m telling you the years go by faster and faster. 

Tell yourself daily:  I am worthy!  I deserve to be healthy and lose weight.   Decide that you are going to make those changes to complete your last weight loss journey.   Find a meal plan that you can live with, find an exercise you enjoy, and try Skinny Fiber.   It isn’t a magic pill but it will help make your journey much easier.

Are you ready to join me in getting healthy and losing weight?  If so, click here and order your SKINNY FIBER!  www.caryncann.com

copyrighted 2015

caryn cannatella

Skinny Fiber Sales:  www.caryncann.com

Follow me on Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Caryncann

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ARE YOU TIRED OF BEING OVERWEIGHT?

ARE YOU TIRED OF BEING OVERWEIGHT?

Are you tired of being overweight?  Whether it is 10 pounds or 100 pounds, most of us want to take off the extra weight and get healthier.

And if you are like me, you know what to do.  I probably know as much about food as a nutritionist.  After 50+ years of dieting, I know the caloric content of most any food I eat.  I know how to exercise.  I know the basics.

So what is the problem?  Sometimes we just need that extra little help that motivates us to get started and keep going.  That's what I needed 18 months ago.  And that's what I still need! 

You are no different than me or anyone else.  We have all the knowledge.  I have probably been a patient of 30 weight loss drs.  They have all the answers.  And every one of them was FAT.    We are no different than all those drs.  Knowledge will not make you lose weight.  Action will.

This is one of the reasons I love Skinny Fiber.  No, it is not a magic pill.  No, it won’t make you lose 30 pounds in 30 days.  No, you can’t eat like a little pig and expect to lose weight when you take it.

BUT!  It will help suppress your appetite.  It will help with your metabolism.  It will help with your digestion.  And it will help prepare your body to lose weight.  Will it make losing weight a breeze and something you can do without thinking about?  Not completely but it will help.  Will you lose inches even when the scales scream at you, YOU ARE STILL FAT!  LOOK AT THE NUMBERS ON THE SCALE!  Yes, you will lose inches even when the numbers don’t move as quickly as you would like.

I’ve been on the diet train for more years than I’ve been off of it.  There are days that I do great and eating healthy isn’t a struggle.  But let’s be honest here.  Losing weight has its days of struggles.  If it didn’t, well, you know.  None of us would be fat.  That’s the truth.

Skinny Fiber is a supplement that will help you lose weight.  It will help you with your appetite.  It will assist you with your metabolism.  It will improve your digestive system.  It will help you stay focused.  It can improve your sleep.  As you lose weight you will have more energy.  More energy means movement is easier.  More movement means more calories burned.

It’s one big process.  None of it is a stand alone deal.  In 1979 I had my stomach stapled.  I lost about the same amount of weight I have lost with Skinny Fiber.   After a year, the weight started coming back.  It wasn’t long before I had gained it all back and more.

Skinny Fiber is a tool.   It can help you.  But it will not do all the work for you.  There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that is going to magically transform you from an overweight person to a healthy weight person.  You have to have skin in the game.  It has to be important enough to you that you choose to commit to it.  You have to want it enough that you are willing to take that journey no matter how long it takes.  If it takes two years, so what?  In two years you will be 2 years older.  You can be two years older and be the same size you are now (or larger) or you can be two years older and be a lot slimmer.  The choice is years.  But either way, you will be two years older.

I have struggles even after 18 months of using Skinny Fiber and losing weight.  There are times that I just want to eat 2 servings of something or even 3.  Sometimes I do.  Then I feel terrible.  I feel like I’m a failure.  It’s just something that many of us have to face on a regular basis.   Sometimes we just have to face the facts.  We are never going to be able to eat anything and everything we want or as much as we want and have a healthy weight. 

So what should we do?  Give yourself a chance.  Try Skinny Fiber.  What if it works for you?  Decide to dedicate 3 months to losing weight and getting healthy.  That’s what I did and for the first time ever in my life, I have consistently lost weight.  Is everyday a success?  No, but more days than not are.

Come join me on my last weight loss journey to health and fitness.  Once you are on the path you will find out what I have.  The only magic to losing weight is YOU.  You are all the magic you need. 

Step out in faith and give yourself another chance.  It worked for me.  It’s worked for thousands of others.  It can work for you too!  Let’s do this together!  Order your Skinny Fiber here:  www.caryncann.com

copyrighted 2015

caryn cannatella

Skinny Fiber Sales:  www.caryncann2.com

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR?

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR?

I saw this today and I can't get it out of my head.  I have lived my entire life in fear.  It has kept me from truly living.  Not for a little while; for all the while.

Many fears I have conquered.  The one fear that follows me, haunts me, taunts me and more is fear of failing to lose weight and keeping it off.  At times I feel like a hypocrite posting about weight loss, my own included, tips, suggestions, etc.  because I doubt myself so much in this area.

Over 50 years of dieting and failing over and over, has caused me to doubt I can really do it.  I have not weighed under 200 pounds since I was 19 years old.  The closer I get to that number (which I have more than a few times), the more fear I feel.  I become overwhelmed.  I get anxious.  I tell myself what is the point?  And then I finally just give up.  Stuck like chuck and going back up!

The tapes that play in my head are like this:  You're fat; you've always been fat.  You will always be fat.  You have such a pretty face but.....  Why do you eat when you aren't hungry?  Hurry and eat, everyone before she gets to the table!  What are you trying to do – weigh over 200 pounds?  Where are you going to find clothes to fit you?  What man will ever want you?  Men leave women who get fat.  On and on and on.  All words that have been spoken to me during my life to the point they have become my own words.  And now they continue to try to hold me back from my dream, my goal to just reach my weight loss goals and maintain them.

I am almost 62 years old.  I'm tired.  I don't want to die a young death.  My children are in their early 20's.  I want to live to see them married with children.  I don't want to be sick.  I don't want live in fear.  I want to overcome this fear and conquer it.

I want to live.  Without the bulk that I have hidden in for 58 years.  I know the me that has lived secretly inside all these years.  I would like for the world to know that me too.  I want out.  I just want out.

copyright 2014

caryn cannatella

Skinny Fiber Sales:  www.caryncann2.com

HATING MY BODY

HATING MY BODY

This is something I have struggled with most of my life.  How can I take good care of my body when I hate it so much?  Throughout my life it has betrayed me, kept me a prisoner, and made my life miserable.

One day I decided to write down a list of the things my body has done for me during my life.  I was amazed.  My body has been very good to me even when I haven’t been good to it.  It has protected me when I couldn’t protect myself.  It has kept me healthy through the years.

Don't get me wrong.  There are still things I just can’t stand about my body.  But I do remind myself of how strong my legs are when I complain about my upper arms.  I still despise that turkey gobbler that now hangs under my chin.   But it does give me something to play with when I'm sitting at my desk!  lol 

I've always enjoyed very good health.  I know that part of this is just good genes.  However give credit where credit is due!  I have not taken the best care of this aging body!  If it were a car, it would have been junked years ago due to upkeep and maintenance.  I couldn’t even have gotten much just for parting it out!

If you hate your body, take a few minutes to think about how your body has helped you through the years.  You will be surprised.  And then decide to start liking your body even if it is just one or two parts at first.  Who knows?  Maybe someday you will begin to truly love your body and develop a healthy relationship with it. 

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

Skinny Fiber Sales:  www.caryncann.com

HAVE YOU LOST ALL HOPE OF LOSING WEIGHT?

HAVE YOU LOST ALL HOPE OF LOSING WEIGHT?

In January 2013 I consciously decided that I would never diet again.  I wasn’t interested in even trying.  I was fat.  I had been fat for over 50 years.  I was going to die fat.   I weighed 317 pounds and figured I would weigh that much or more when I died.   I was done.  I had given up.  I had no hope. 

When I started this last weight loss journey in July 2013 using Skinny Fiber, I still had no hope.  I just didn’t believe it was possible for me to lose weight.  I mean really lose weight for the long term and keep it off.  I was completely defeated.    I figured I would use Skinny Fiber for 30 days and then return the empty bottle for my money back guarantee.

But this time, something happened.  It worked.  I lost 10 pounds that first month.  I had not changed what I ate one bit.  I just followed the three steps of Skinny Fiber.  I took two capsules twice a day with 12 ounces of water.  I drank enough water daily to equal half my body weight in ounces.  And I stopped eating when I felt that first feeling of fullness. 

Besides losing weight, I began to feel better.  When I started Skinny Fiber, I could walk less than a block.  I have progressed from walking to jogging to even running.  I’ve been taken off 2 blood pressure medications (it was still 160/90 with the meds); my thyroid medication has been decreased, I’m off medication for acid reflux, arthritis and fibromyalgia.  And I have completed a 5k.

I haven’t just changed my body and appearance.  I’ve changed everything about myself:  the way I think, the way I act, the way I respond.   Today I was looking at pictures from my cruise to Belize and Cozumel.   There I was having a blast, dancing like I was on Solid Gold, and smiling.  I don’t even remember when the last time was that I saw pictures of me smiling.  Not a forced smile or a fake smile.  Just a big beautiful smile.  I have been telling people for months:  I am changing from the inside out and the outside in.  When I look at those pictures, I truly see this transformation. 

Why am I writing this?  Because I know there are many people out there reading this that feel like I did in January 2013.  I know how you feel; I know where you are; and I know you have given up.  I’m here to tell you, there is hope!  I don’t care how old or young you are.  I don’t care how few pounds or how many pounds you have to lose.  I don’t care how many times you have tried and failed.  I’m here to tell you there is hope!  You can lose weight.   It can happen.  You just have to take one more chance.  And when you do, your hope that is just a burning ember in your heart will light anew.   Give Skinny Fiber 90 days and the flame of hope will burst inside you. 

I’m not unique.  I failed at dieting for 53 years.  And now, without dieting, I am finally succeeding at losing weight and getting healthy.  You can too.   I will help you along the way.  If you need or want to contact me, email me at caryncann@gmail.com.  You can contact me on Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/Caryncann.  You can contact me on Twitter @ https://twitter.com/Caryncann.

I know Skinny Fiber works.  It has worked for me for about 15 months.  When I jog and run I feel like an athlete instead of someone waiting to die.  Every time someone decides to try one more time and gives Skinny Fiber a chance, I know that hope is going to return to their life.

Step out in faith one more time and let hope fill your heart again.  Start today with your Skinny Fiber.  I’ll walk this journey with you.    www.caryncann2.com.

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

Skinny Fiber Sales:  www.caryncann2.com

BLACK SHEEP OF THE FAMILY

BLACK SHEEP OF THE FAMILY

If you are, join the crowd!  I was and have always been the black sheep of the family.  I was always told I had the lowest IQ in the family, “probably no more than 100”.   It wasn’t until I was 55 that I learned it was actually 130.  It never really mattered to me.  I have told people for years that I am smarter than the average bear and that was good enough for me.

I never dated.  “Who would want a fat girl”, they said.  I now can say my ex-husband did (and many since then).  I must be honest.  My ex and I never dated.  He was a dj and I called in & requested a song.  We talked on the phone for over a month.  He invited me over to meet him.  I never left.  Oh, and of all the kids, my marriage lasted the longest.  What can I say?  Maybe dating is over-rated!   Lol

I never finished college.  “You never finish anything!”  I realized as I got older I finished many things, just not college.  Having said that, I’ve had great jobs, supported myself and later my children.  I’ve never asked anyone to help me out.  I’ve always been independent.  I can sew, crochet, throw pottery, paint, draw, cook, etch, knot, cross-stitch, just to name a few.  And I’ve finished many things!  And given everything I ever made away.

“I guess you will always be FAT!”  I certainly believed that one!  At 61 I finally know that I don’t have to be fat and I’m working my way down!  I still say I’m fat, a big girl, a chunky monkey, a biscuit above being thick.  And that’s ok.  It reminds me that I’m still on my journey but I know the fat is leaving and showing the real me that lives inside! 

“You’ll never amount to anything!”  I remind myself often how much I have accomplished in my life.  I started and ran a hotline for 5 years for people who had been abused.  I know my boss would say (and has) he wished he had hired me 5 years earlier.  My employees tell me I’m a great manager.  I have raised two awesome children.    At 61, my home is paid off, I am debt free, I am retiring to part-time in December 2014.  Even at part time I can live just like I live now.   I travel whenever I want.  And I have investments that will take care of me until I die.  Plus, I will leave my children an inheritance, which was a goal of my ex-husband and me.   I guess I have amounted to something, huh?

“You aren’t a good person.”  In fact, one family member called me evil.  Lol  I am a lot of things but evil isn’t one of them.  I’m not bragging but I am a very good person.  I help a lot of people and organizations.  I go out of my way to do for others.    Most people don’t know what I do because I prefer for my giving to be done in private.  I don’t need accolades.   And I’ll share a secret with you:  The more you give, the more you get.  The less you give; the less you get.  It’s a law of God.

Why am I sharing all this with you?  Well, first, I want you to know that I have finally realized that I am an AWESOME person!  And I bet you are too!  You know what we do as kids (and adults)?  We take those statements spoken over us and they become tapes in our heads.  We don’t even hear the voice of the person who originally said them.  We start to hear our own voice telling us those LIES!  And that is what they are.  Just lies!

We have to start changing the voice in our head.  When you hear one of the lies playing in your head, just say “STOP IT!”  “I am a good person!”  “I am smart!”  “I am desirable!”  “I am a success!”  “I have accomplished things!”  And , for me, “I WILL NOT ALWAYS BE FAT!”

There is nothing wrong with being the black sheep of the family.  It just means you follow your own path.  You are an independent person.  You stand out from the crowd.   When someone looks for you, you are easy to find.  You are the black sheep!  Embrace it and love yourself for being that!  You have made your own way in life and lived it the way you chose!  That makes you very special!  Now, say it out loud, “I AM VERY SPECIAL!” and believe it.

copyrighted

caryn cannatella

Skinny Fiber Sales:  www.caryncann.com

HEY FATSO!

HEY FATSO!

I bet just reading the title stung a few of you.  I know it did me!  The sting of that word stills rips my heart.

I was the fat kid in school.  Now I wouldn’t say I was grossly overweight.  I was under 180 until after I graduated from high school.  But I was bigger than the other girls.  I wasn’t tiny and cute.  And I wasn’t happy.

I was called fatso, fatty, tubby, pig, you name it; I was called it.  Those words just shred the confidence and self-esteem of a child.   They do the same to adults but children have these little hearts and minds that are still forming.  It’s difficult for them to process it as anything but hurt and hate.

My first diet was at 8.  I’m sure I was on at least one diet a year, and sometimes 2, for the next 10 years.  My mother kept a book in the top drawer of her chest of drawers.  When I got married at 24 she still had it.  What was in that book?  My weight and measurements she took on Saturday.  If the numbers went down, I was worthy.  If they stayed the same or, heaven forbid, they went up, well, there wasn’t much value in me.   It seemed to me that the only thing that mattered about me was my weight.  Things like sewing, crocheting, playing the flute, playing the piano, writing poetry, refurbishing furniture, and making gifts for others didn’t seem to bring any value to my life.  I was just a number on the scale.  A big fat number.  Oh, and I hated that book. 

I can remember many times seeing myself as a big fat egg.  Always in my mind there was this thin person who wanted to break that shell and scream, “This is who I really am!”  But I couldn’t.  I was fat.  And all fat people know that if you get into an argument with someone, you will leave the confrontation.  Why?  Because when the other person says, “Oh yeah?  Well, you’re fat!”, the argument is over.  There is no come back to that. 

I wish I could say that only mean boys at school called me names.  Oh they did, right through high school.  I acted like I didn’t care.  But girls called me names too.  And of course I got called names at home.  It was not a happy existent for the little girl I was in the picture above at 5.

Overweight children have a very sad, lonely, alone life.  Oh, they may present to others that it doesn’t matter and they are happy go lucky and funny.  But it does matter.  It is just a terrible way for a little kid to have to grow up.  I never believed anyone loved me and I never believed anyone would.  Even after I married, it was 10 years before I truly  believed my husband loved me and wouldn’t leave.

For an overweight child, words said, and even words unsaid can cut to the core.  If I heard my mother say it once, I heard her say it a hundred times, “You have such a pretty face but”, and then she would shake her head.  Oh, I knew what came after but, “BUT YOU’RE FAT!”  It was like fat was all there was to me.  I hated it and I hated myself.  And I hated the people who made me feel so worthless.

I wish I could say that when I became an adult it was different.  It wasn’t for many years.  I would have people come up to me in a store and say things like, “You don’t need to be eating that” or “We don’t have anything in our store to fit someone like you.”   I tried to remember when I stopped being verbally abused by strangers.  I think it was when I became a manager at my job.  I gained some confidence and since then I don’t think anyone has ever said anything to me like that again.  If they had, I would probably have fileted them like a fish and left them twitching on the ground.  Yes, they had taught me well; you can use words to hurt deeply.

I trudged through my adult life gaining and losing; gaining and losing.  That’s what I had done since I was 8.  I was allowed too few calories, losing weight quickly.  When I would go back to eating normally, I would gain the weight back and more.  I was losing muscle and gaining fat.  I became fatter and fatter with each successive diet. 

Finally, I just gave up.  I knew I would die fat and didn’t really care when.  I remember in the spring of 2013 I declared to anyone who listened, “I’m never dieting again or even trying to lose weight.  I’m going to eat whatever I want, when I want and as much as I want.”  And I did.  By now, the only thing I saw in a mirror was my eyes.  I knew they were pretty and nothing could make them ugly.  Well, except the dead look that stared back at me.

But that all changed when I started using Skinny Fiber.  I took responsibility for what I put in my mouth.  I made my own choices and learned to live with them.    I started looking at my body in the mirror wearing nothing.  It was so hard.  Even now I have problems with two areas of my body.  However, I have learned to appreciate and love my body, even as fat as it was and is, for taking good care of me all these years.  Sometimes it was the only protection I had.  I began to try new things, some I had feared trying.  I started pushing energy outward instead of just inward.

I have always been a loving and caring person but over the last 20 years, it had waned.  I found that again inside me.  Giving is something that gives me such joy.  Even if it is just sending a card to someone in the mail, it makes my heart warm.  It made me feel whole.  I began to feel complete.  I began to be that loving and caring person again.  I was changing from the inside out and the outside in. 

How I wish my little younger self had been able to find that.  Her world would have been a completely different place.  But I will tell you:  I live with no regrets.  I don’t think I would have become the person I am today if I had not gone through all the years between 8 and 61.  I was like the Israelites roaming the wilderness for 40 years.  The Promised Land was so close to them but they just couldn’t see it.  That was me.  I see it now.  I’m heading to my Promise Land and I’m going to try to take as many people who have struggled with their weight with me as I can.

And to my little 8 year old self, I say this:  “You were beautiful inside and out.  You were so talented and creative.  Even though you will endure much in your life, you will make it to that Promised Land.  And you will be in my arms when we get there.  Thank you for keeping me safe.”

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

Skinny Fiber Sales:  www.caryncann.com

WOULD YOU LOSE WEIGHT & GET HEALTHY FOR THE CHILDREN IN YOUR LIFE?

WOULD YOU LOSE WEIGHT & GET HEALTHY FOR THE CHILDREN IN YOUR LIFE?

My children arrived when I was 40 and 41 and their dad was 50 and 51.  I was morbidly obese.  I lost weight and exercised when they were 8.  After I took the trip I had lost the weight for, I started gaining it back.  In January 2013 I weighed 317 pounds.

I was fat, miserable, unhappy, disgusted and my clothes didn’t fit.  I didn’t care what I looked like.  When you get that big you figure you are invisible to everyone so you become invisible to yourself.   I lost a little weight during an illness but that was it.

In early July, 2013 I saw a post on Facebook for a product called Skinny Fiber.  The slogan was “Eat less, Feel full”.  Yeah, right.  It had a 30 day money back guarantee so I ordered it.  I planned to send it back at the end of the month.  Fifteen months later I am ordering a bottle every month and sharing my success with others so they can experience the weight loss and return of health that I have had with Skinny Fiber.  I am a product of the product.  I know it works and I want others who have given up on losing weight to know it too!

Don’t get me wrong.  There’s times when I could eat everything in the Ice Cream section at my grocery store.  I’m not perfect.  I try to do my best but sometimes I fail.  When I’m unable to exercise, it is hard to get back in the groove even when I know I will feel better.  I don’t give up.  I just recommit the next day. 

If you are overweight you know it is so much easier to eat unhealthy than it is healthy.  You have to plan to eat healthy.  You have to buy the right foods to keep in your house.    With unhealthy food, you rip open a bag of chips, or a box of cookies, or a box of ice cream.  After you eat it, you don’t feel satisfied.  You just feel fat.  The bottom line is this:  You are the ruler of your mind and body.  If you get your head right, your body will follow.   I know it from my own experience.

In April of this year I had to tell my children that their father was terminally ill and had very little time to live.  When I was talking to my daughter, Ashlie, she was so strong and not one tear fell.  But I could see in her eyes, that there was something she was thinking.   I looked at her and said, “I’m not going to die, Ashlie, for a long time.”  She started to cry and said, “do you promise?”  I promised her I would live at least 25 more years.  I plan to keep that promise.

And the only way to keep that promise is to continue to eat healthy and continue to exercise.  It might take me another year or even two to reach my goal of 180 pounds.  The time is irrelevant.   I’ll be 62 or 63 either way.  I can be that age and weigh 180 or I can be that age and weigh more.  Either way, I’ll be the same age.

My question to you is this:  What if your child or your grandchild ask you to promise them you wouldn’t die?  And if you are overweight, you know what they mean.  Would that be enough for you to start losing weight and getting healthy?  

Sometimes when we are overweight and have been for years, we just don’t think we are worth the work to lose weight and get healthy.  Trust me, our kids and grandkids think we are.  We can’t live forever but we can give them and ourselves many more years if we choose to just make better choices.

If you want to start your journey towards losing weight and getting healthy, come do it with me.  I have lived what you are living.  I have struggled the way you are.  I have felt what you are feeling.  I know the pain of being fat.  And I know the change that can come when you begin to shed those layers.  You can become a new person from the inside out and the outside in.  Let me help you.  Check out Skinny Fiber and then decide that today is the day you choose to live a longer and healthier life.  We can and will do this together. 

copyright 2014

caryn cannatella

Skinny Fiber Sales:  www.caryncann.com

NO MATTER WHAT SIZE, YOU ARE STILL BEAUTIFUL

NO MATTER WHAT SIZE, YOU ARE STILL BEAUTIFUL

I think many women struggle with this.  Especially those of us who are overweight.  We begin to see ourselves as only fat.  It’s a terrible feeling when you embrace the notion that all there is to you is fat.  And sadly, in our culture, fat often equates to ugly.

I have never believed I was beautiful.  Never in my life.  It has only been in the past 6 months that I can look at pictures of myself and say, “I’m cute.”    I still see the wrinkles.  I still see the jowls.  I still see the turkey gobbler under my chin.  I still see the abdomen that hangs down 6 inches and weighs over 25 pounds.  I still see my upper arms that are more the size of a thigh than an arm.

We all have beauty in our bodies and more importantly, in our hearts.  When I look in the mirror I see my beautiful blue eyes.  I remind myself how my daughter has always said she wished she had blue eyes like me.  And I’ve always said I wished I had brown eyes like hers.  When I look in a full length mirror I see strong powerful legs.  I believe that my legs are one of my best assets and when I put on a pair of black stockings, well, I just think they are lovely!  I keep my nails and toes polished so that my feet and hands are beautiful.  I’ve been blessed with good skin that needs very little attention. 

I am told I’m a good friend.  I have a good heart.  I’m a giving person.  I’m loyal.  So why don’t I think these things make me beautiful?  Why is it that if you are fat, somehow you just don’t or can’t see the beauty in yourself?  How come we can’t look at ourselves and see how lovely we are as a person?  What causes us to decides that we can’t be both fat and pretty?

I don’t know.  I wonder if I didn’t feel pretty so I became fat or I became fat and didn’t feel pretty.  I’m not sure it even matters which came first.  I know this though.  If you don’t like yourself and you feel you don’t have worth and that you aren’t worthy of anything, you will never feel beautiful.   It’s so hard to change that mindset.  

You really have to retrain your mind.  I guess it is no different than re-training your mind when you decide to eat healthy, start exercising, change your career, go to college or any other goal you set for yourself.  Until your mind believes it, neither will you.

I think I will ask my best friend to print this picture out and then hang it in my bedroom with other encouraging pictures.  Then every day I can see it and repeat it.  Until the day that my mind truly believes it.   Believing I’m beautiful is not that far down the path.  As long as I’m willing to take the walk.

What about you?  Are you ready to believe in your own beauty?  I am.  It’s time to let the struggle go and embrace my own beauty.

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

Order Your Skinny Fiber:  www.caryncann.com

YES, I AM NOW A RUNNER!

YES, I AM NOW A RUNNER!

I'm back to my jogging schedule!  Last night it rained so I got up early and was out on my jog a little after 7.

I normally jog at about a level 3.  Level 3 is when your heart is pumping but you can still talk comfortably.  Today I decided to push harder.  Every block length or 2, I ran at a level 4 for 100 steps.  Level 4 is your heart really pumping and you can still talk but not comfortably.  I completed 8 or so of these Level 4 sections. 

This is helping me increase my speed, work my heart harder and just uses more energy.  You know how I could tell I was moving faster?  My upper arms were flopping!  hahaha 

So, I guess I can say I have moved up to actually RUNNING!  I don't know if I will run the 10K but I know I will run at least 1/2 of it!  And what an accomplishment for a 230+ pound, 61 year old woman who just started moving 3 months ago.  YES, IT HAS BEEN 3 MONTHS SINCE I STARTED JOGGING!  By Thanksgiving I will have 6 months under my belt!  WOO HOO!

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

Skinny Fiber Sales:  www.caryncann.com