Sunday, March 29, 2015

CONFESSIONS OF A STRUGGLING FATTY

CONFESSIONS OF A STRUGGLING FATTY







I’m struggling on my last weight loss journey.  Yes, I’ve been stuck on a plateau for the last 6 months.  I still haven’t gotten back to jogging regularly since my car accident.  But those aren't really the problem.  Those are just temporary setbacks. 

The loss of weight has not and still is not apparent in all of my body.  Because of the over 50 years of gaining and losing over and over my skin has no elasticity.  My lower abdomen is just a huge flap of mainly skin.  The last time I weighed it, it was 25 pounds.  If I lived on 1000 calories a day the rest of my life, it would still be there.   It feels like a parasite feeding off of my body.   Underneath this appendage, my stomach is flat.  I have looked in the mirror so many times in the past few months with my stomach lifted so I don’t see it.    I look small and normal.

The other part of my body that is so out of proportion is my upper arms.  They are just humongous and have decreased very little with all the weight I have lost.  When I look at my arms, I see my normal size fore arm attached to an upper arm that is the size of a thigh.  It’s bizarre looking to say the least.  And it’s frustrating.  

It’s very difficult to buy clothes to fit me.  My pants have to fit over this huge stomach.  That means they will be baggy in the legs and waist.   Last week for the first time, I actually noticed that the seams on the sides of my pants end up being about 3 inches on the front on both sides of my hips.     My waist is about the size of a 14.  But my stomach requires an 18 most of the time.  The same with tops.  My torso is a large or x-large.  My upper arms are a 3x.   I had someone tell me not too long ago (in a very loving way), “Girl you need to get a shirt that fits you!  That one is about to fall off!”  It was.  Off my body.  It fit my upper arms.

The only way I see to have a body that is really my body is to have cosmetic surgery.  It’s expensive.  Very expensive.  Especially since I only want to have it done in a hospital and not a surgical center. Every day since January 1st, I have put it out there to the universe, “I am going to have my surgery by January 2016.”   I tell you.  I have no idea how that will happen.  I just know in my heart it will.

Until then, I am going to keep working my program and get back to my jogging.  I want to lose 60 more pounds by the end of the year.   I know that after my surgery I am going to feel like a prisoner who has been released from their prison.   My body will at last be the body it should have always been.   And that person who has been kept hidden inside for over 50 years will be freed!

Yep, I’m struggling but not giving in or giving up.   I’m back on track and I see the finish line.  I’m the only one who can get me there.  And I’m going to make it if I have to crawl across that line with bloody knees that no longer have any cushion in them!  I have come too far to ever give up!
My plea to you is this.   If you are overweight please don’t wait until you are 60 to decide you deserve to lose weight and get healthy!  Don’t use your weight as an excuse to put off living.  I’m telling you the years go by faster and faster. 

Tell yourself daily:  I am worthy!  I deserve to be healthy and lose weight.   Decide that you are going to make those changes to complete your last weight loss journey.   Find a meal plan that you can live with, find an exercise you enjoy, and try Skinny Fiber.   It isn’t a magic pill but it will help make your journey much easier.

Are you ready to join me in getting healthy and losing weight?  If so, click here and order your SKINNY FIBER!  www.caryncann.com

copyrighted 2015
caryn cannatella

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