CONFESSIONS OF A STRUGGLING FATTY

CONFESSIONS OF A STRUGGLING FATTY

I’m struggling on my last weight loss journey.  Yes, I’ve been stuck on a plateau for the last 6 months.  I still haven’t gotten back to jogging regularly since my car accident.  But those aren't really the problem.  Those are just temporary setbacks. 

The loss of weight has not and still is not apparent in all of my body.  Because of the over 50 years of gaining and losing over and over my skin has no elasticity.  My lower abdomen is just a huge flap of mainly skin.  The last time I weighed it, it was 25 pounds.  If I lived on 1000 calories a day the rest of my life, it would still be there.   It feels like a parasite feeding off of my body.   Underneath this appendage, my stomach is flat.  I have looked in the mirror so many times in the past few months with my stomach lifted so I don’t see it.    I look small and normal.

The other part of my body that is so out of proportion is my upper arms.  They are just humongous and have decreased very little with all the weight I have lost.  When I look at my arms, I see my normal size fore arm attached to an upper arm that is the size of a thigh.  It’s bizarre looking to say the least.  And it’s frustrating.  

It’s very difficult to buy clothes to fit me.  My pants have to fit over this huge stomach.  That means they will be baggy in the legs and waist.   Last week for the first time, I actually noticed that the seams on the sides of my pants end up being about 3 inches on the front on both sides of my hips.     My waist is about the size of a 14.  But my stomach requires an 18 most of the time.  The same with tops.  My torso is a large or x-large.  My upper arms are a 3x.   I had someone tell me not too long ago (in a very loving way), “Girl you need to get a shirt that fits you!  That one is about to fall off!”  It was.  Off my body.  It fit my upper arms.

The only way I see to have a body that is really my body is to have cosmetic surgery.  It’s expensive.  Very expensive.  Especially since I only want to have it done in a hospital and not a surgical center. Every day since January 1^st, I have put it out there to the universe, “I am going to have my surgery by January 2016.”   I tell you.  I have no idea how that will happen.  I just know in my heart it will.

Until then, I am going to keep working my program and get back to my jogging.  I want to lose 60 more pounds by the end of the year.   I know that after my surgery I am going to feel like a prisoner who has been released from their prison.   My body will at last be the body it should have always been.   And that person who has been kept hidden inside for over 50 years will be freed!

Yep, I’m struggling but not giving in or giving up.   I’m back on track and I see the finish line.  I’m the only one who can get me there.  And I’m going to make it if I have to crawl across that line with bloody knees that no longer have any cushion in them!  I have come too far to ever give up!

My plea to you is this.   If you are overweight please don’t wait until you are 60 to decide you deserve to lose weight and get healthy!  Don’t use your weight as an excuse to put off living.  I’m telling you the years go by faster and faster. 

Tell yourself daily:  I am worthy!  I deserve to be healthy and lose weight.   Decide that you are going to make those changes to complete your last weight loss journey.   Find a meal plan that you can live with, find an exercise you enjoy, and try Skinny Fiber.   It isn’t a magic pill but it will help make your journey much easier.

Are you ready to join me in getting healthy and losing weight?  If so, click here and order your SKINNY FIBER!  www.caryncann.com

copyrighted 2015

caryn cannatella

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ANGRY WORDS

ANGRY WORDS

I know this has happened to all of us. Someone is having a bad day and they start saying just the worst things to you about you. Their words hurt. You feel like you are doing great. Or you did until they started talking. Instead of supporting you they choose to tear you down.

When they leave and you can breathe again, just sit in quiet for a minute. Think about the words they used as weapons against you. Were they truly about you or were they just projecting their own insecurities and failings onto you.

I can tell you, it hurts to be on the receiving end. Especially if the person spewing it is a person you love and one who is suppose to love you.

Words can hurt. Words can destroy. Words can leave scars that never show and never heal. Be careful. Sometimes when you are using such harsh words, the person you should be directing them to is the person who lives in your mirror.

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

Skinny Fiber Sales:  www.caryncann.com

DO YOU CHOOSE FAILURE OR SUCCESS?

DO YOU CHOOSE FAILURE OR SUCCESS?

This is the question I have recently began to ask myself. 

Over 50 years of being overweight and I think I am finally getting it.  I have spent my life on and off of diets because I failed.  How many of us have been on a healthy eating plan to lose weight and we have that day where we eat too much or eat sweets that we tell ourselves we shouldn’t?  At the end of the day, we feel guilty, unworthy and a failure.  We beat ourselves up badly.  And then we quit.  It might be months or even years before we try to lose weight again.

What happens?  We quit eating healthy.  We start eating out of control, sometimes binging.  We have to buy bigger clothes.  We stop even weighing.  We dread looking in the mirror.  We tend to pick that part of our bodies that we like no matter what.  Mine was my eyes.  We hate going to the dr; we might even put it off as long as we can.  Why?  You know why.  They are going to weigh us.  And again, we will be humiliated.  They will know what we already know:  WE ARE A FAILURE.

I have been losing weight this time, my last weight loss journey, for almost a year.  I decided that this time I was going to do it differently.  No food would be off limits.  I had finally figured out something.  When there are foods that “aren’t allowed”, we want them more.  After a while, whether a day, a week or a month, we start feeling punished.  We tell ourselves we deserve to eat whatever it is.  And you know that is a short conversation.  Because we feel we have been denied, we usually eat that food like we will never have it again.

This time I told myself that no food was off limits.  If I want a cookie, I eat a cookie.  I have learned that with that freedom to have the food, I’m much less likely to gorge myself with it.  Notice I said “much less likely”.  I have had a few moments where I overate.   But not once this past year have I felt like I did in the past:  that I was a failure and I should just quit.   That is so amazing to me!  I am now able to say, “tomorrow’s a new day and I’ll start again.”  What freedom that has brought me.

Things that are not allowed because much more important in our lives.  When they are allowed, they lose that power over us.  We can have them, even if we overeat them on occasion.  Someday I know I will reach that point where I still eat the “forbidden” foods, but I don’t gorge myself on them.

Do a little experiment.  Try allowing “forbidden” foods on your food plan.  You can’t do it every day but certainly occasionally you can.  See if it helps you.  I’d love to hear from you.

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

Order Skinny Fiber here:  www.caryncann.com

BEING POSITIVE

BEING POSITIVE

Maybe it does for some, but for most of us, we have to choose and make a concerted effort to be positive! But we can do it! You just get up in the morning and said aloud, "Today I will be positive".

Now I'll tell you, it doesnt' change instantly. Like all good things, it takes time. I know! It doesn't seem right that negative things that root immediately and positive things that time. But that is the way it works. Once you start doing this everyday, you will find that the positive days far outnumber the negative days.

Try it. What do you have to lose other than bad days.

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

www.caryncann.com