NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU

NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU

This is a tough pill to swallow no matter your age.  I experienced it as a child, a young adult and even as a senior.  It was true as much in my personal life as it was in my business life.

For whatever reason, some people are just not going to like you.  They don’t want to be your friend.  They don’t want to hang out with you.  They don’t want to talk to you.  And chances are, they won’t even interact with you. 

It can be tough at times.   You meet someone and you admire something about them.  You might even think you have things in common.  You try to interact with them and they look through you like you aren’t there.  Others might tell you “she is so great!  You should get to know her.”  And you are thinking, “I have.  She completely ignored me on 4 (or 5 or 100) different occasions when I attempted to just talk to her.”

You know what you need to do?  Stop trying to please this person or even interact with them.  Not everyone is meant to be your friend or even in your life.

There are over a billion people on this planet.   Just because a few people are rude or plainly don’t want you in their life is just a blip on the screen.   Always go for quality over quantity.  There are plenty of people who will think you are the cat’s meow and better than a bag of chips!  These are the people you want in your life.

If someone acts like they are better than you, let them.   Really, who cares?  No one is worth your time who doesn’t make time for you.   Don’t waste your time calling people who don’t return your calls.  Don’t send messages to people who ignore yours.  Don’t try to hang out with people who make it very clear they aren’t interested.  Realize the truth and move on.  You can't miss a friendship you never had.

Surround yourself with people who not only like you but love you.   Find those who share common interests with you.   Cling to those who have proven their friendship.  You know the ones:  They can talk for hours about nothing.  You spend hours with them laughing.  If you need them at 2am, they are there for you just like you are there for them.

For all the others?  Let them go like water off a duck’s back.  Not everyone wants to be your friend.  Honor those who do and let the rest go.  When you can do that, you will have made peace and will be able to move on.  

It’s a feeling of freedom like no other.  Trust me on that!

copyrighted 2015

caryn cannatella

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ANGRY WORDS

ANGRY WORDS

I know this has happened to all of us. Someone is having a bad day and they start saying just the worst things to you about you. Their words hurt. You feel like you are doing great. Or you did until they started talking. Instead of supporting you they choose to tear you down.

When they leave and you can breathe again, just sit in quiet for a minute. Think about the words they used as weapons against you. Were they truly about you or were they just projecting their own insecurities and failings onto you.

I can tell you, it hurts to be on the receiving end. Especially if the person spewing it is a person you love and one who is suppose to love you.

Words can hurt. Words can destroy. Words can leave scars that never show and never heal. Be careful. Sometimes when you are using such harsh words, the person you should be directing them to is the person who lives in your mirror.

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

Skinny Fiber Sales:  www.caryncann.com

LITTLE RED TICKETS

LITTLE RED TICKETS!

Most of you know that I gave up anger for Lent (No, I'm not Catholic.  I just like the practice of Lent).  It was great.  It wasnt until about 10 days ago that anger came back into my life.  Anger doesn't really want to visit me.  Anger wants to take up residence.  It's a battle at times.

I have to remind myself often that whatever I'm angry about really doesn't matter in the big scheme of life and most probably, I couldn't tell you what I was angry about a week later.  I rarely direct my anger at whoever has made me angry.  I redirect it to some unsuspecting soul who probably thinks I've lost my mind.

Three decades ago I worked for the owner of The Greensheet, Helen Gordon.  She was a formidable woman.  She gave me a chance to be in management and I'll forever be grateful to her.  She was stern.  She wore ultra suede suits every day of the year with 3 inch heels.  I worked for her 5 years and she wore a wig every day.  She smoked Parliament cigarettes and used a cigarette holder.  She believed in giving people a chance...her philosophy was, sink or swim, show me what you can do.  It was a great way for me to learn.

Anyway, we handled 100's of phone calls a day.  Most had been on hold for awhile so they werent always friendly when we got to them.  I remember one day Helen told me this story.  She said there was a man who was always receiving the anger of other people.  She said to think of them as little red tickets.  Every day this man took more red tickets.  He would stuff them down and keep going.

But one day, he just couldn't take it anymore.  He had taken too many red tickets.  And that was the day someone made the mistake of giving him one more red ticket.  And THAT person got all the red tickets he had been taking for so long.

This is why we shouldnt just take other people's red tickets.  Because some day we are going to throw those red tickets out.  Maybe, just maybe, what we should do is just refuse to take all those red tickets from other people.  Maybe if we could do that, we wouldnt have all those red tickets stuffed deep inside.

I heard Maya Angelou today say this, "Just remember, child, you arent in this."  If you aren't in it, let their anger just roll off you and keep rolling.

What do you think?

copyrighted 2014
caryn cannatella

www.caryncann2.com/