NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU

NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU

This is a tough pill to swallow no matter your age.  I experienced it as a child, a young adult and even as a senior.  It was true as much in my personal life as it was in my business life.

For whatever reason, some people are just not going to like you.  They don’t want to be your friend.  They don’t want to hang out with you.  They don’t want to talk to you.  And chances are, they won’t even interact with you. 

It can be tough at times.   You meet someone and you admire something about them.  You might even think you have things in common.  You try to interact with them and they look through you like you aren’t there.  Others might tell you “she is so great!  You should get to know her.”  And you are thinking, “I have.  She completely ignored me on 4 (or 5 or 100) different occasions when I attempted to just talk to her.”

You know what you need to do?  Stop trying to please this person or even interact with them.  Not everyone is meant to be your friend or even in your life.

There are over a billion people on this planet.   Just because a few people are rude or plainly don’t want you in their life is just a blip on the screen.   Always go for quality over quantity.  There are plenty of people who will think you are the cat’s meow and better than a bag of chips!  These are the people you want in your life.

If someone acts like they are better than you, let them.   Really, who cares?  No one is worth your time who doesn’t make time for you.   Don’t waste your time calling people who don’t return your calls.  Don’t send messages to people who ignore yours.  Don’t try to hang out with people who make it very clear they aren’t interested.  Realize the truth and move on.  You can't miss a friendship you never had.

Surround yourself with people who not only like you but love you.   Find those who share common interests with you.   Cling to those who have proven their friendship.  You know the ones:  They can talk for hours about nothing.  You spend hours with them laughing.  If you need them at 2am, they are there for you just like you are there for them.

For all the others?  Let them go like water off a duck’s back.  Not everyone wants to be your friend.  Honor those who do and let the rest go.  When you can do that, you will have made peace and will be able to move on.  

It’s a feeling of freedom like no other.  Trust me on that!

copyrighted 2015

caryn cannatella

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CHANGING YOUR NAME

CHANGING YOUR NAME

How would you feel if your child decided to change their name?

My son wants to change his name.  He wants to drop his first name, change the spelling of his middle name and only use that name with his last name.  He promised his dad he would wait until he passed since his dad gave him his first name.

To be honest, it doesn't matter to me.  Whatever makes him happy.  And how could his dad or I say anything when we both changed our names?  Jim's was legally changed; I changed mine 30 years ago but not legally.  Even family members used our new names.

The only reason I put (Debby Moore) on my Facebook page is so the people I knew as a kid would recognize who I am now.  I was never a Debby.  In fact, it just sounds so odd when someone (even a dr) refers to me by that name.  From the minute I decided to go by Caryn, I have always felt at home.  The only people who refer to me as Debby/Debra are the government, or anything legal.  Even my friends of more than 40 years call me Caryn.  Jim was the same way.  He was never a Mike; he was always a Jim.  My boss thinks it is funny to sometimes call me "Debra".  When he does, I just call him by his brother's name.  He gets the point. 

So, Cody Javier, if you want to change your name to Xavier, I'm good with it.  I know he feels that Xavier fits him and that's all that matters to me!

copyrighted 2014

caryn Cannatella

Skinny Fiber Orders:  www.caryncann.com

SHUT UP!

SHUT UP!

I’ve been jogging for almost 6 weeks.  Last night I jogged 2.5 miles.  It was harder but oh what a great feeling!

Next week I am heading to Las Vegas for a Skinny Fiber Event.  A group of us are going to get together for a jog/run/walk.  I’m very excited about joining my friends and Skinny Fiber family to do this run.  I know that I couldn’t have done this at the last event which was in May!  You’ve come a long way, Baby!

So here is the problem.  Ever since it was announced that there would be a gathering of us to jog/walk/run, I’ve been having doubts.   Here are some of the thoughts that keep going through my mind:

              

1.      What makes you think you can do a jog with people who are in shape and don’t weigh as much as you do?

2.      You aren’t a runner!  You jog as slow as people walk!  You’re not even a jogger!

3.      What if you can’t finish it?

4.      Everyone will think you have been lying.

5.      People will make fun of you.

6.      Everyone will talk about you behind your back

Every day I battle these thoughts.  It especially happens when I am out jogging.  I talk back.  “I am jogging 5 days a week!”  “I am increasing my distance every week.”  “I can finish this  jog.  If I can’t finish it jogging, I’ll finish it walking.” 

Still the doubts stalk me.  I know it isn’t reality.  I know it’s just that voice in my head that has convinced me all my life that I couldn’t do things.  Many times it convinced me that while I might be doing something, I could never complete it.  That I would quit.  That I’m a quitter.

Well, not this time!  I’m not going to let a baseless fear keep me from joining my friends on this outing!  I’ll jog and do my best.  That will be enough.  I’ve let the negative voice in my head keep me from attempting things I wanted to achieve all my life.  It has also kept me from achieving my goals by telling me I was a quitter.

I’m on a different path now.  I know what I can do!  I know that I am the only one who can decide to set a goal, work at that goal and achieve that goal.  I am seeing it daily in different areas of my life.  Every day I remind myself:  YOU ARE AN ATHLETE!  “YOU ARE A WINNER! And I am! 

And if I can do it, anyone can!

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

Skinny Fiber Sales:  www.caryncann.com

IT'S YOURS FOR THE TAKING

BE GRATEFUL & BE BLESSED

Sometimes I just lie in bed and think about my life. Now, I'll admit I have had some crappy years out of my 61 years. Some worse than others. In 2003 I was alone, totally alone, except for my children. I thought my life was a mess I'd never get straightened out.

You know what happened? I decided to declare daily how much I was blessed and write down daily what I was grateful for. In the beginning I wasn't able to see all my blessings as clearly as I do now. Some days it was just "I'm grateful for my job (which I hated)." "I'm grateful for my home (hated it too)." "I'm grateful for my children (none of us liked each other much back then)." "I'm grateful for my car."

But you know what I happened? I started being able to name many things that I was grateful for. During those next 4 or 5 years I became grateful for everything. And the more grateful I became, the more blessed I was.

I no longer think about the times in my life that were hard, that I was mistreated, that I was abused. I just look at my life as a whole. I have so little stress in my life. Every day I remind myself of my many blessings.

I now have a family that includes my best friend and all her family (those Diaz's are the best). I have a best friend who shares my home. My son, Cody, is doing well in his job and is making great progress financially. My daughter, Ashlie, has been at her job a year and a half, planning to attend college and is in love with a great man. And her boyfriend, Daniel, has now become family. I still consider my ex to be a part of our family.

If you want to live a life that is pretty much stress free, be grateful for what you have, no matter how little or much it is. And then declare daily how blessed you are. I guarantee you that if you do those two things, you will see an amazing change in your life. I know. I have lived it!

Be grateful and be blessed! It's yours for the taking.

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

www.caryncann.com

LETTING PEOPLE GO

LETTING PEOPLE GO

There comes a time in everyone’s life that you have to let someone go.  I think most of us consider this a negative thing.  I don’t think it is.

The first thing I thought about was how parents, and mothers especially, have to let their children go.  I’m a mom and I know how difficult it is.  I struggle with it.  I try to remind myself how I pulled away from my mother when I started living with my ex.  Well, actually, I pulled away at 19 when I moved out.  I never told her where I was going, what I was doing, who I was seeing, etc.  I was living my own life.  I think it is easier when they don’t live with you.  With Ashlie, it’s easier.  She is off on her own and I’m still in her life but not as much.  Cody is living with me so I’m still in his.  I have to remind myself at times that he is grown and I just have to let him go to make his own choices, and, his own mistakes.  We all do although I wish they would just listen to me so they wouldn’t have to go through some of them.  Lol

Then there are the people you have to let go because they just aren’t good for you.  They suck the life out of you.  They use you.  They take advantageous of you.  They aren’t supportive of you.  They are negative.  They want you to be their friend but they have no idea how to be a friend to you or anyone else.  Sometimes you really like these people.  They are funny, fun to be with, and even likeable.  Some are even charming.   And yet, you still find yourself, over and over, having that conversation.  “I really need to let this person go.”  And hopefully, you will find the courage to do the right thing for you and you will et them go.

Now here is the difference in the two.  When it is your kids, chances are they will continue to be in your life.  You are letting them go for their benefit.  Yes, you have to let them go so that they can stretch their wings and grow.  They will be in your life but just in a different way.  That is a good thing.

When it is someone you considered a friend, it’s not the same.  What I have found is that when I let them go, they are just gone.  Gone until they might need something.  Then you have say that phrase that you have been practicing over and over “I’m sorry.  I can’t help.”    I promise you.  You aren’t their only safety net.  They will go find someone else to fill your spot.    Yes, you might miss the fun things about this person but your life will be so much simpler.  When you let them go, it will be like the sun comes out.

You will dread it.  You will put it off.  But once you take that step and just do it, you will know.  You did the right thing.

When you let people go you do it for one of two reasons:  to allow them to grow or to allow you to grow.  I’m ready.  Are you?

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

www.caryncann.com/?SOURCE=BLOG

THE PAST, HURT AND FORGIVENESS

THE PAST, HURT AND FORGIVENESS

We have all had hurts in our lives.  Sometimes we think we are the only people in the world who have been through what we have.

Some of us have had worse things happen to us than others.  Sometimes we think they are worse than everyone else until.  Yep, until we meet someone who has been through worse.

I ran a hot line back in the 80's and 90's for people who had survived extreme abuse.  I would listen to their stories and thank God that I had not lived it.  Every time I listened to a caller I would think, "I'd rather have lived my life."   

And you know what happened?  I begin to heal.  Slowly but surely, I begin to heal.  I finally got to the point that I was able to forgive those who had hurt me so deeply.  Now, I'm not saying that I wanted them in my life but I was able to wish them well, hope they were happy and MOVE ON!

You will never have a great present or future unless you let go of the past.  Once you deal with whatever it is, put it away.  I compare it to placing it in a box, putting the lid on it and shoving it into a dark corner of my memory.  Oh, it's still there if I want to go back through it.  I have just found that I rarely ever want to anymore.

Forgiveness isnt about doing something for the person you are forgiving.  It's about doing something for YOU.  When you forgive someone, you free yourself completely. 

If you are having problems letting go of past hurts and forgiveness, you need to print this tag out and put it on your bathroom mirror.  Read it everyday.  One day, you will realize that you are letting go.  When that happens, you are on your way to forgiveness.

Try it.  I have and it has changed my life!

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

www.caryncann.com/?SOURCE=BLOG

OVERCOMING BINGING!

OVERCOMING BINGING!!!

I spent the weekend pondering this overeating incident on Friday.  I know I am the one who has to figure it out and then work out the solution.  I hope ya'll don't mind but I'm going to write my thoughts about this problem of mine.   Maybe it will help someone else.  I don't know.

I just know I will never be free of my weight problems until I figure this weight problem out.  I want to be healthy, mind and body.  What good does it do me to lose the weight and still have to battle these binges of overeating when my emotional state collapses? 

52 years is long enough to carry this burden.  I want to be free of it for good.  I'm not sure what path or paths I will have to take to reach my final destination but I'm determined to get there. 

I'm looking forward to all of you being with me to push me, encourage me, tell me the truth when I need it, and cheer me on when I make progress. 

I'll tell you.  I'm scared.  I just feel like it is uncharted territory for me and I'm just scared.  I know I am going to have to make changes that probably I would rather not make.  But I'm determined.  This time, this time I'm going to put this to rest.

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

www.caryncann.com/?SOURCE=BLOG

THE OLD TEXAN

THE OLD TEXAN

There was a man who was born in Texas.  He was a native Texan.  And everyone knows that to be a Texan you have to be born here.  This man loved everything about Texas.  He loved the snow of the Panhandle.  He loved the rolling hills and waterfalls of the Hill Country.  He loved the pine trees of East Texas.  He loved the desert and mountains of El Paso.  He loved the Gulf of Mexico by Galveston.  He even loved the sand storms of West Texas.  He loved the Alamo.  He loved Blue Bell Ice Cream.  He loved the Mexican music, the Zydeco music, the Country music, the Rock n’ Roll, the Gospel music and even the musicals.  He loved the Cowboys, the Texans, the Rockets, the Spurs.  He loved the Longhorns and the Aggies.   He loved the work ethic of Texans.  He loved how Texans love their state.  Oh and he loved those blue bonnets!!!  He loved EVERYTHING about Texas.  It was his life.

When he came to the end of his life, he called his family and friends together and told them that all he wanted was for a mound of Texas dirt to be placed in his closed hand when he was buried.  And when he died, his family and friends fulfilled his wish.

When he got to Heaven, God met his at the gates.  “I’m here to welcome you to Heaven but what is in your hand?”  “Dirt,” the Texan said.  “Well, you can’t bring dirt into heaven.”  “But it’s from Texas and I won’t go in unless I can bring it.”  God replied, “Then I guess you will have to stay out here.”

A few days went by and God returned to the Texan who was sitting on a bench outside the Pearly Gates with his fist closed tight around his mound of Texas dirt.  “You ready to come in yet,” God asked.  “Can I bring my Texas dirt in?”   “No, I’m sorry you can’t.”  “Then I’ll just stay out here.”  “Ok,” said God, “but we have a HUGE party planned for you.”  “If I can’t bring my Texas dirt, I don’t want to go”.  God turned and left.

A couple of days later Jesus in the form of a child came out to visit the old Texan.  “What cha doing, mister?”   “Nothing.”   “Why are you sitting out here?”  “God won’t let me bring my Texas dirt in?”  “Why do ya want that old clump of dirt anyway, you’re in Heaven.”  “I just do!  I want to bring it with me.”  “It’s just an old clump of dirt!  Just open your hand and let it go!  Then me and you can go into Heaven together!”

The old Texan sat and thought about that.  The little boy said, “just open your fingers and let it go.”   Finally the old Texan just opened his fingers and the breath of the Lord blew the dirt out of his hand!  He took the little boy’s hand and they walked through the Pearly Gates.

And do you know what he found when he entered Heaven?  EVERYTHING TEXAS!

So my question to you is:  What are you holding on to that is keeping God’s blessings from you?

copyrighted 2014
caryn cannatella

www.caryncann.com/?SOURCE=BLOG