There comes a time in everyone’s life that you have to let someone go. I think most of us consider this a negative thing. I don’t think it is.
The first thing I thought about was how parents, and mothers especially, have to let their children go. I’m a mom and I know how difficult it is. I struggle with it. I try to remind myself how I pulled away from my mother when I started living with my ex. Well, actually, I pulled away at 19 when I moved out. I never told her where I was going, what I was doing, who I was seeing, etc. I was living my own life. I think it is easier when they don’t live with you. With Ashlie, it’s easier. She is off on her own and I’m still in her life but not as much. Cody is living with me so I’m still in his. I have to remind myself at times that he is grown and I just have to let him go to make his own choices, and, his own mistakes. We all do although I wish they would just listen to me so they wouldn’t have to go through some of them. Lol
Then there are the people you have to let go because they just aren’t good for you. They suck the life out of you. They use you. They take advantageous of you. They aren’t supportive of you. They are negative. They want you to be their friend but they have no idea how to be a friend to you or anyone else. Sometimes you really like these people. They are funny, fun to be with, and even likeable. Some are even charming. And yet, you still find yourself, over and over, having that conversation. “I really need to let this person go.” And hopefully, you will find the courage to do the right thing for you and you will et them go.
Now here is the difference in the two. When it is your kids, chances are they will continue to be in your life. You are letting them go for their benefit. Yes, you have to let them go so that they can stretch their wings and grow. They will be in your life but just in a different way. That is a good thing.
When it is someone you considered a friend, it’s not the same. What I have found is that when I let them go, they are just gone. Gone until they might need something. Then you have say that phrase that you have been practicing over and over “I’m sorry. I can’t help.” I promise you. You aren’t their only safety net. They will go find someone else to fill your spot. Yes, you might miss the fun things about this person but your life will be so much simpler. When you let them go, it will be like the sun comes out.
You will dread it. You will put it off. But once you take that step and just do it, you will know. You did the right thing.
When you let people go you do it for one of two reasons: to allow them to grow or to allow you to grow. I’m ready. Are you?
copyrighted 2014
caryn cannatella
