IT'S YOURS FOR THE TAKING

BE GRATEFUL & BE BLESSED

Sometimes I just lie in bed and think about my life. Now, I'll admit I have had some crappy years out of my 61 years. Some worse than others. In 2003 I was alone, totally alone, except for my children. I thought my life was a mess I'd never get straightened out.

You know what happened? I decided to declare daily how much I was blessed and write down daily what I was grateful for. In the beginning I wasn't able to see all my blessings as clearly as I do now. Some days it was just "I'm grateful for my job (which I hated)." "I'm grateful for my home (hated it too)." "I'm grateful for my children (none of us liked each other much back then)." "I'm grateful for my car."

But you know what I happened? I started being able to name many things that I was grateful for. During those next 4 or 5 years I became grateful for everything. And the more grateful I became, the more blessed I was.

I no longer think about the times in my life that were hard, that I was mistreated, that I was abused. I just look at my life as a whole. I have so little stress in my life. Every day I remind myself of my many blessings.

I now have a family that includes my best friend and all her family (those Diaz's are the best). I have a best friend who shares my home. My son, Cody, is doing well in his job and is making great progress financially. My daughter, Ashlie, has been at her job a year and a half, planning to attend college and is in love with a great man. And her boyfriend, Daniel, has now become family. I still consider my ex to be a part of our family.

If you want to live a life that is pretty much stress free, be grateful for what you have, no matter how little or much it is. And then declare daily how blessed you are. I guarantee you that if you do those two things, you will see an amazing change in your life. I know. I have lived it!

Be grateful and be blessed! It's yours for the taking.

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

www.caryncann.com

MY GOOD-BYE LETTER TO FAT

MY GOOD-BYE LETTER TO FAT

Dear Fat -

You have been my best friend and enemy for 53 years.  You have held me in a prison I thought I could never escape and at the same time made me feel safe.  You tried to ruin my looks so no one would even want to see me.  I felt invisible.  You tried to destroy my heath and make me sick and weak.

I have finally gained the courage to stand up to you and say NO MORE!  You are not more powerful than I am.  You can't control my life.  I choose to break the chains you have put on me and take my life back!

I am in control now.  I decide what I eat and how much.  I ignore your whining when I exercise.  I don't believe you anymore when you tell me I'm worthless, no good and no one loves me or even likes me.  I know they are all lies.

My bondage to you is over and I am free!  Yes, you were there when I felt like no one else was.  Just like food.   I thought the two of you were my friends.   I was wrong.  The fog has cleared and I know the truth.  I know now that I am strong, worthy, an over-comer and a CHAMPION!

Good bye, Fat.  I don't need you anymore.

Caryn

SOMETIMES YOU JUST AREN’T READY TO LOSE WEIGHT

SOMETIMES YOU JUST AREN’T READY TO LOSE WEIGHT

That’s right.  If you are ready to get healthy, nothing, AND I MEAN NOTHING, will get in your way.  Sure you will have set-backs.  Sure you will falter.  But if you get back up and journey on, you will reach your goal.

What I have seen with others and myself is that we look at others achieving their goals with regards to losing weight and getting healthy.  Here are some of the comments I have said or I have heard others say on why they aren’t getting healthy when others are.
1. She’s a lot younger than me.
2. I’m on thyroid medicine.  It’s almost impossible for me to lose weight.
3. I have children at home; her kids are grown.
4. I have to cook for my family.  They won’t eat what is on my food plan.
5. I don’t like to drink water.
6.   It hurts my knees (feet, arms, toes, head, joints, etc) to exercise.
7. I don’t have time to exercise.
8. I know Skinny Fiber works for you, but I just forget to take those darn capsules twice a day.
9. If I had a cook and personal trainer, I could get healthy too.
10. I just like to eat too much to get healthy.

You know what these are called?  Excuses.  That’s right. They are just excuses.  Sometimes you just aren’t ready to lose weight.  You can say the words, “I wish I was smaller” or “I wish I could lose weight”.  YOU CAN!  But until you are ready and decide this is what you are going to do, it won’t work.  I know.  I lived it for 53 years.
Several things changed my mind and got me ready to face this challenge head on.  One of my best friends died last year at the age of 63.  Just a baby, she was.  She was severely overweight for the 30+ years I knew her.  She finally started losing weight when she began dying.  It broke my heart.  My children are only in their 20’s.  Neither is married yet or has children.  I want to be around when they get married and make me a grandmother.  I want to be able to travel without asking for an extender belt (I reached this goal Aug 2013!).  I want to be able to sightsee when I travel without hating how awful I feel after walking a couple of blocks.  Last summer I found this amazing product, Skinny Fiber, which has been a great tool in my LAST weight loss journey!  Not magic.  Just a tool.  And finally, I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired.

It has taken me a year of losing weight to get to the point that I could and even wanted to start moving.  And now that I have, I remember that exhilarating feeling I experienced 14 years ago when I was exercising.

Here is my advice to you.  No one can convince you to start getting healthy.  That is something only you can decide.  If you want to start out with simple things, try these two things.  It will get you started.  If you cut out 100 calories a day (that’s one soda a day), you will lose 10 pounds in a year.   Anytime you have to park your car, put it twice as far away as you normally do.  Those two things will help you start getting healthy…if you want to.  The decision is yours.

I’ve been wherever you are.  In 2012 I weighed 317 pounds.   I now weight 237.  I have 53 more pounds to go.  I’ve done so much damage to my body trying to become “normal” instead of trying to be healthy:  every diet out there, hypnosis, starvation, exercising 5-6 hours a day, bariatric surgery, all kinds of diet pills, and on and on.  The truth is, to get healthy is long term project; a work in progress.  It is not a quick fix.  You have to eat right the majority of the time and you have to move.

Are you ready to get healthy?  If that is your goal, then you will do it.  Let nothing stand in your way.  NOTHING.  If you falter, get back up.  Start anew.  If you are moving forward you are making progress.   When you are ready, and you need help, someone to talk to, or someone just to listen, shoot me a message @ caryncan@gmail.com.  I’ll be here for you.

copyright 2014
caryn cannatella
Skinny Fiber available here:  www.caryncann.com

OVEREATING KILLS

OVEREATING KILLS

We all know that obesity is an epidemic in our country and around the world.  We all know that it causes so many illnesses and causes so many deaths.  We aren't just talking about adults here!  We are talking about children!  Our future!

When my best friend was fighting cancer, they told her family that she had cirrhosis of the liver.  They said, "How can that be?  She has never had a drink in her life.."   The dr. said, "it's because of the large amount of fat she carries."

If you want to know the truth, that scared me so badly.  When I found Skinny Fiber, it was a godsend.  I don't want to die of a stroke, a heart attack, diabetes, or cirrhosis.  I want to be healthy.  I want to live to see my grandchildren be born and become adults.  I want to live decades after I retire.

If you are battling this war with fat, please, please, choose to live healthy.  You deserve to have a life that is full of life!  I have told everyone, this is my last weight loss journey.  I have promised myself that I am going to get there no matter how long it takes.

Come join me.  Life is not just about food and eating.  It is about being healthy and living! 

Join me in being healthy and living life.

Copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

www.caryncann.com

STOP DIGGING AND MAKE A PLAN!!!

STOP DIGGING & MAKE A PLAN!

Sometimes I think we overanalyze when it comes to solving problems.  Ya’ll know that I have been dealing with overeating in response to external things affecting my life.  I’ve wrestled with it.  I’ve thought about it.  I’ve looked at it up and down and inside and out.

I just keep thinking, if I could just figure out WHY I do this, then I could fix it.

I was talking to my friend Ileene this morning about lots of things.  I brought this up and told her I didn’t care what it took I was going to conquer this.  Even if I have to go back into therapy.  Which I refer to as scab picking.  You know.  You heal for a week and then you go back in and pick the scabs till they bleed.  And for good measure you usually have salt poured in the open wound and then scrubbed with a brillo pad.  That is right before you are told, “You’re hour (which is really only 50 minutes) is up!  See you next week!”  You scrape your wounded body up off the floor and drag yourself home.  You return the next week to do it all over again.

Ileene wrote me the following, “Well, I think you have taken the 1st ....well actually the 2nd step toward recovery. The 1st is admitting there is a problem......the 2nd would be opening up and making others aware........the thing is, you may never fully understand just exactly why but you do fully understand that you do and the need for it to stop so you can move on. I believe all we can ever do is say "I think" this is the reason. Evidently it was something that started years ago and is triggered time and again......seems to me you have recognized what triggers it.....so that may be the 3rd step.......you are moving on up!!! As I see it, you are at the 4th step......as soon as the trigger happens, learning to redirect from wanting to gorge!!! See, you are doing great! It should be somewhat easier since you know it is coming!”

What really stood out to me was this:  “the thing is, you may never fully understand just exactly why but you do fully understand that you do and the need for it to stop so you can move on. I believe all we can ever do is say "I think" this is the reason. Evidently it was something that started years ago and is triggered time and again......seems to me you have recognized what triggers it”   This just makes sense to me.  Do we really have to dig and dig to find out what causes it?  What if it is more than one thing or incident?  Must we dissect every possibility before we can just recognize, change and move on?

Ileene is right.  I do know what brings on the binges.  It’s feeling like I have being taking advantage of and/or being used and not being appreciated.  I get it!  So I just need a plan in place for the next time it happens.  What can I do to make myself feel better without hurting myself?  Eating gives me that temporary feeling of filling the hole of unworthiness.  She made some suggestions:  go buy a new outfit, find something else that will satisfy you or pick you up.  There are things that could help me fill that void I have inside without punishing myself by overeating.  What I’m going to concentrate on in the next few days is making a list of different things I can do to feel the void without filling my stomach.  I know that one size fits all won’t work.  I need a list of things to choose from.  Dancing might work one time and not the next.  I have to build my arsenal.

I remember when my ex stopped drinking on January 11, 1981.  Whenever he felt that stress or feeling that made him want to drink, he would buy a pint of ice cream and eat it.  He said the sugar would enter his bloodstream quickly and give him that calm that alcohol had done.  I didn’t understand it but it seemed to work for him.  That first year I bet he ate 50 gallons of ice cream.  Until he was in the hospital last month, I doubt he had eaten a pint of ice cream in years.  It’s been 33 years and he is still alcohol free.

That is going to be me.  The next time I’m faced with a situation that normally turns me into a binging nut, I’ll have my tools ready.  And you know I’ll be posting and sharing how I do.  If I fail, I’ll let you know.  And when I succeed, I’ll let you know that too.  I’m in it to win it.  I want my kids to say when I die, “You know mom decided to stop binging in 2014 in response to her feelings.  It’s been 30 years and she died binge free.”  Yep, that is what I want them to say!

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

www.caryncann.com/?SOURCE=BLOG

WHAT IS THIS?

WHAT IS THIS?

When you are overweight you rarely see your body, especially without clothes.  We tend to ignore our bodies and just look at our faces.  Some of US only look at our eyes.  I used to be one of those people.  I knew I had beautiful blue eyes and no one could ever say anything bad about my eyes.

The other day I was in the bathroom at work and, don’t ask me why, pulled my top up to look at my torso.  I was looking at it and there was this pouch of fat in the center but not as much.  What really got me was there were these deep creases on either side of the pouch.   To be honest it looked a bit weird. 

I knew it must not be serious because I applied my theory of diagnosis.  You know, if you have the same thing on both sides of your body, it might not be fine but you know it’s not serious.  Now if it is just on one side of your body, then you probably need to visit your dr. 

Ok, so I just stood there staring at my torso with the two deep creases.  I ran my fingers through the creases.  Wait a minute.  It’s really hard in the ceases.  Soft in the pouch; hard in the creases.  I pressed down very hard in the creases.  Hard as a rock. 

And then it hit me.  I have muscles that I can feel!  There really are muscles underneath the padding of flesh.  When I put my fingers in the creases and flex, I can feel my muscles contracting.  I’m going to start exercising my abs so that when I have surgery, my six pack will already be there.  How cool is this?

So, I just wanted to share that yes, even under a thick layer of fat, there are still muscles just waiting to someday be noticed!  I noticed and I’m going to work hard to free you and let you out!  P.S. (Maybe I’ll take a picture so you can see this on my body!)

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

www.caryncann.com

Friend or follow me on Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/Caryncann

OVERCOMING BINGING!

OVERCOMING BINGING!!!

I spent the weekend pondering this overeating incident on Friday.  I know I am the one who has to figure it out and then work out the solution.  I hope ya'll don't mind but I'm going to write my thoughts about this problem of mine.   Maybe it will help someone else.  I don't know.

I just know I will never be free of my weight problems until I figure this weight problem out.  I want to be healthy, mind and body.  What good does it do me to lose the weight and still have to battle these binges of overeating when my emotional state collapses? 

52 years is long enough to carry this burden.  I want to be free of it for good.  I'm not sure what path or paths I will have to take to reach my final destination but I'm determined to get there. 

I'm looking forward to all of you being with me to push me, encourage me, tell me the truth when I need it, and cheer me on when I make progress. 

I'll tell you.  I'm scared.  I just feel like it is uncharted territory for me and I'm just scared.  I know I am going to have to make changes that probably I would rather not make.  But I'm determined.  This time, this time I'm going to put this to rest.

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

www.caryncann.com/?SOURCE=BLOG

OVEREATING

OVEREATING

This is the kind of post I normally only post in my weight loss support group.  However, I think I’m suppose to post it on my Facebook page first. 

Many of us have destructive patterns when things happen in our lives.  Some of us overeat; some of us stop eating, some of us throw up, some of us cut ourselves, some of us run up credit cards, some of us have random sex.  And on and on.  None are better or worse than the other.  Some of us have more than one destructive behavior.  Most of the time we don’t know what initiated the self abuse.  Sometimes we don’t realize we are even doing it until we are deep in the midst of it.

I do this to myself.  I overeat.  Now, as I rule I eat healthy and in moderation.  But there are times when I find myself going to the store to buy that comfort food that my mind and body are urging me to eat.  Not a taste.  Not a bite.  But gorge myself.   

Today was one of those days.  I ate 6 mini ice creams.  SIX!  I had eaten them before I even realized I had.  I wasn’t hungry and now I’m miserable.  I was lying here in bed thinking about this.  Why do I do this?  Why do I sabotage myself?  Why do I stuff myself?  Why do I forget about all my success in just a minute?

I know I have to find these answers to really succeed on this last weight loss journey.  I started going back through today.  Yesterday.  The day before.  I’ve been battling this urge to gorge all week.   What was the driving force behind this?  Sometimes I feel like I am trying to fill a deep hole that resides in the depths of my soul.

I finally figured it out.  Once I did, I remembered the last time this happened.  I thought back to what was going on then.  It was the same kind of thing.  So what was it?  Both times it was when I was feeling used and taken advantage of.  When that happens, my confidence takes a big hit.  My self-esteem sinks to the ground.  I don’t understand why when others treat me badly I take it upon myself to treat myself just as badly. 

I wish I had the answers.  I know I have to find them and start the healing process so that next time, and there will be a next time, I can identify it before it happens.  And if not before it happens, maybe after I just eat 3 mini ice creams.

If you wish to share your struggles and triumphs, I would appreciate that.  I do plan to post this in my closed weight loss group for those who would like a safe place to share their struggles.

I hope if you are facing something like I am that at least now you know you aren’t alone.

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

www.caryncann.com/?SOURCE=BLOG

SECRETS

SECRETS

I have come to realize that secrets keep us living in fear.    We all have them.  We’re afraid that if someone finds out whatever our secrets are, that catastrophe will occur.   That is what is so destructive about secrets.  They hold us captive by their darkness.

Now, I’m not talking about some huge secret.  I’m talking about the little secrets that we keep.  I remember last August meeting Courtney Luper after she spoke in Dallas.  She told her story about her weight loss journey and how she put it all out there in her group.  Even her weight!  EVEN HER WEIGHT!!!  I almost couldn’t breathe when she said that.  Who in their right mind would tell someone, and a bunch of someones, at that, how much you weigh????

I saw her in the hall later dressed in that hot pink shirt, looking fabulous!  I went up to her and said, “Did you really put in your group your weight?”  She said, “I did.  What did I have to lose?”  Courtney will never know what a life changing impact that had on my life.

I have thought about that a lot since last August.  Oh, I didn’t decide to jump right out there and announce my weight to everyone.  It was just too scary.  I knew how cruel people could be.  I lived it for many years as a child and young adult.  Anyone who is overweight knows that when you are in a disagreement with someone, all they have to do is say, “Oh, yeah?  Well you’re FAT!”  And that ends it.

A month or so ago I decided to just put it out there.  I told Facebook and my group that two years ago I weighed 317 pounds.  When I started Skinny Fiber I weighed 287.  I now weigh 240.  Why should I be embarrassed?  I am a winner at losing!

And you know what happened?  People supported me.  People encouraged me.  People I didn’t even know.  And some people decided to try Skinny Fiber.

I’m not saying you should share all of your life with just anyone.  Some things in your life shouldn’t be shared with just anyone; but only those who have earned the right to know.  But there are many secrets that all of us carry that mean nothing in the big picture of our lives.  When you have a secret that is holding you back, open up.  Start with just telling one person you truly trust.

Once the secret has light on it, its power to control you is gone.  So what if you weighed 300 pounds or more!   What matters is that you are controlling your own life.  It amazes me what freedom I have gained from just taking that step and telling the facebook world my highest and current weight.

If you have a secret that is holding you back or keeping you from living, let it go.  Put that secret in the light and see how its power dissipates.  You will not regret it.

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

www.caryncann.com/?SOURCE=BLOG