NO MATTER WHAT SIZE, YOU ARE STILL BEAUTIFUL

NO MATTER WHAT SIZE, YOU ARE STILL BEAUTIFUL

I think many women struggle with this.  Especially those of us who are overweight.  We begin to see ourselves as only fat.  It’s a terrible feeling when you embrace the notion that all there is to you is fat.  And sadly, in our culture, fat often equates to ugly.

I have never believed I was beautiful.  Never in my life.  It has only been in the past 6 months that I can look at pictures of myself and say, “I’m cute.”    I still see the wrinkles.  I still see the jowls.  I still see the turkey gobbler under my chin.  I still see the abdomen that hangs down 6 inches and weighs over 25 pounds.  I still see my upper arms that are more the size of a thigh than an arm.

We all have beauty in our bodies and more importantly, in our hearts.  When I look in the mirror I see my beautiful blue eyes.  I remind myself how my daughter has always said she wished she had blue eyes like me.  And I’ve always said I wished I had brown eyes like hers.  When I look in a full length mirror I see strong powerful legs.  I believe that my legs are one of my best assets and when I put on a pair of black stockings, well, I just think they are lovely!  I keep my nails and toes polished so that my feet and hands are beautiful.  I’ve been blessed with good skin that needs very little attention. 

I am told I’m a good friend.  I have a good heart.  I’m a giving person.  I’m loyal.  So why don’t I think these things make me beautiful?  Why is it that if you are fat, somehow you just don’t or can’t see the beauty in yourself?  How come we can’t look at ourselves and see how lovely we are as a person?  What causes us to decides that we can’t be both fat and pretty?

I don’t know.  I wonder if I didn’t feel pretty so I became fat or I became fat and didn’t feel pretty.  I’m not sure it even matters which came first.  I know this though.  If you don’t like yourself and you feel you don’t have worth and that you aren’t worthy of anything, you will never feel beautiful.   It’s so hard to change that mindset.  

You really have to retrain your mind.  I guess it is no different than re-training your mind when you decide to eat healthy, start exercising, change your career, go to college or any other goal you set for yourself.  Until your mind believes it, neither will you.

I think I will ask my best friend to print this picture out and then hang it in my bedroom with other encouraging pictures.  Then every day I can see it and repeat it.  Until the day that my mind truly believes it.   Believing I’m beautiful is not that far down the path.  As long as I’m willing to take the walk.

What about you?  Are you ready to believe in your own beauty?  I am.  It’s time to let the struggle go and embrace my own beauty.

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

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