Tuesday, June 17, 2014

REJECTION

REJECTION






Rejection is a powerful emotion.  It’s that feeling of not being good enough and is the root of a myriad of problems so many of us face.

I have come to realize that there is not just one thing that causes me feel unworthy and often to want to overeat.  There are many.  And yesterday I discovered that rejection is a huge one.

When I got up yesterday morning I was in a good mood.  As I went through my work day I started feeling that sinking feeling.  I call it spiraling.  It wasn’t bad; it was just that I could feel it.  Over the past few years I have learned to identify that feeling before it has a chance to grab hold and pull me down into the abyss.

So here I was a busy little beaver working hard all day and it kept nagging at me.  Not like a kid or a boss.  More like a gnat or fruit fly that just buzzes around your head for no good reason.  In this last weight loss journey of mine, I have tried to identify these triggers.  Once I do, it is much easier for me to deal with them and choose a better path. 

Now I will give myself kudos.  I didn’t think once about stuffing my face.  I really just wanted that dark cloud to be gone.   While Patty and I were jogging, I told her about going to jury duty about 30 years ago and not being picked.  I felt so rejected I literally crawled into bed for several days.  On that Friday, I called a therapist and told her I didn’t know what was wrong but something was.  That started my trip  down therapy lane. 

I told Patty I was having those same feelings all day long.  I told her that I really hadn’t wanted to jog; I had wanted to crawl in bed and cover my head.  But I didn’t.  By the time I had finished my jog and pounded those sidewalks, that feeling of rejection was gone.  I had overcome it.  I didn’t feel like abusing my body with food.  I was no longer spiraling.  And I no longer felt rejected.

Now here is what I have learned.  Many times when we feel rejected, it isn’t true!   It is an emotion that takes root in our own minds from a thought.  We start thinking about, feeding it, watering it, and watch it grow.  It doesn’t take long.  Our mind will agree with our irrational thoughts just like it will put them there. 

But here is the key.  Our mind is nothing without us.   We have the ability to control our mind.  We can change the thoughts that pop into our head.  It takes practice but we all can do it.  When you start having those feelings of being unworthy and not good enough, try confronting them.  Where do they stem from?  Are they real or imagined?

An affirmation I have tried to live by the past couple of years is this, “Change your thoughts; change your life.”  It has worked many times for me and is still an ongoing project.    The next time you are feeling rejected and unworthy, try changing that channel in your head.  It takes practice but I can assure you, it works.

copyrighted 2014
caryn cannatella

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