My kids are spoiled. Yep, I admit it. I don't really care what anyone thinks about it. They are my kids. I'm fortunate that I make a good living. That does make it easier when money can take care of something.
My kids both work. Ashlie is totally self-sufficient but there are times that she does need help. My philosophy is: if you are doing what you are supposed to be doing, then I will help you. Now sometimes, I just can't but for the most part I think I'm there. She has definitely found her path and is marching through.
Cody works too and he is on the path to self-sufficiency. He lives with me but he has to pay rent. Why? Because in the real world everyone has to pay rent. He is also required (since he had to move back in with me) to give me all of his paycheck and then I give him money for food, bus, etc. Before he moves out, he will have two month’s rent, deposit, transportation and money in savings. The last few months he will have to show me that he can take care of his finances.
I wish I had been taught some of these lessons when I was in my 20's. It would have made my life so much easier. I want them to be spared from the mistakes of being young if I can. I tell them often, I'm not smarter than you; I have just lived longer.
I make them Easter baskets and Christmas stockings. I buy them souvenirs everywhere I go. If they are in a bind, I'm going to be there. If they need my help, they know they can call me. If I can help, I will. If they need to talk, I'll listen and try my best not to give unsolicited advice.
No matter how angry we get with each other (flashback teenage years), or how much we dislike each other at the moment, I want them to know this one thing to the core of their being:
I am their mother. Even if I don't particularly like them at a particular time, I will always love them forever and a day. I want them to always, always know that no matter what, I'm just a phone call away. And if you have or had that with your mom, you are blessed.
copyrighted 2014
caryn cannatella
www.caryncann.com
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