Showing posts with label grief. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grief. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

ARE YOU WILLING TO DIE TO BE TAN?

ARE YOU WILLING TO DIE TO BE TAN?







Are you a sun worshipper?  If you are, you are putting your life in danger.

My father died of melanoma back in 1971.  5 years earlier he had a mole removed which was malignant.  Melanoma.  They removed all the lymph nodes around the affected area.

The end of May 1971 he had his 5 year check-up and was declared cancer free.  He was a survivor.  After 5 years, they say you are cured.  July 3 he got very sick and started throwing up.  He never threw up.  They next morning he saw his personal dr.  He did a chest X-ray and his lungs were metastasized.  He was immediately sent to MD Anderson in Houston.  They also found tumors in his bowels.  They found that the cancer wasn't in his lymph nodes but in his blood stream depositing cancerous cells along the path.

A week or so later, they discovered a brain tumor.  They decided to give him a treatment of chemotherapy, which was a brand new treatment.  And then they sent him home.  Two weeks later he was transported back to MD Anderson by ambulance.  The tumor had grown to the size of one 2 years old.

I took care of him the last month of his life.  I was with him 24/7.  He was a preacher and he lost his ability to communicate.  That's when he stopped talking.  I had to suction him out just so he could breathe.  It always terrified him.  He couldn't eat.  I would make Jello water and squirt it down the back of his throat.  The skin of his gums started to peel away.  I was so glad when the brain tumor grew through the pain center.  He had no control of his bowels.  He couldn't stand to have anything on his skin.  The last week of his life the tumors starting to grow under the top layer of his skin.  Little black dots that became little pointed lumps. 

End of May, he was pronounced "cured" after 5 years cancer free.  July 5th, he was diagnosed again.  September 5, he was dead.  He was 45 years old.   I was only 18.  His weight had dropped from 180 to 120.  He looked like a little boy wearing his daddy’s suit.

He lived his life outside where his fair skin was burned over and over.  Please please please don't spend your time in the sun unprotected.  Just because your skin is dark or tans doesn't mean you are safe from melanoma.   The sun’s rays don't discriminate.  They just damage and destroy.

45 years young and gone.  At my age now I realize just how young he was.  You can prevent melanoma.  Put sunscreen on anytime you are in the sun.  The sun is not your friend unless you are protected.

Melanoma is a terrible way to die.  I can assure you that when you are in the casket not one person will say, "but doesn't she have a pretty tan." 

If you go out in the sun, put on the sunscreen.  Do it in memory of my father, Clyde Ogden Moore.  You were taken way too soon, Daddy. 


copyrighted 2015
caryn cannatella

Skinny Fiber Sales:  www.caryncann2.com

Thursday, May 7, 2015

MOTHER’S LOVE IS LIKE NOTHING ELSE!

MOTHER’S LOVE IS LIKE NOTHING ELSE!






If you have children you know there are times when you didn't like them much (and they probably liked you less).  When I became a mom, I promised myself that no matter what, I would never let the bond with my child be broken.

No matter how mad or disappointed I was with them, I would never ever close the door and walk away.  I can tell you there were times it was hard but I'm glad I've always kept that cord attached.  There should never ever be a time that a mother's bond to her child is severed.  We are their moms.  No matter what, the door should always be open to our children. 

Now, I'm not saying I'm was always a great mom or even a good one.  There were times (ok, years) that I thought I was the worst mom.  I didn't know what I was doing and I'm sure I did more wrong than right.  But I always loved them and never gave up.  And just like someone reminded me often during the dark times, "you have good kids.  They will be ok.  They will turn out just fine.   It just won't be for a few years."  She was right.  About it all. 

If you don't have a relationship with your child, please consider making an effort.  It just takes a card, a phone call.  Doesn't mean you have to try to be where you once were.  It just means you let them know you love them.  No matter what.

What if your child, the one you loved from the time they were born, died today?  Or you found out they had a very short time to live?  How would you feel?  Life is short and fleeting.  If you haven't told your child you loved them lately, do it today.  If you are close enough to hug them, do it. 

You may think you have a lot of time left because they are so much younger than you.  You never know.  Don't let another day go by. 

Parents shouldn't have to bury their children.  It sucks.  But it happens.  Tell your child or children today that you love them no matter what.  Forgive them for whatever you feel they need to be forgiven for.   Just remember, they are your child.

To my friend who is having to face the reality of her child leaving this world, thank you for reminding me how precious an honor it is to be a mom.  My heart breaks for you but I know your child knows through his whole being that he is loved unconditionally throughout eternity by his mom.

Call your child.  Send that card.  Just three words:  I love you. 

copyrighted 2015
caryn cannatella

Skinny Fiber Sales:  www.caryncann2.com

Friday, August 29, 2014

THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

THE LOVE OF MY LIFE


This is one of my favorite pictures of Jim and our son, Cody, when Cody was 2.


August 16, 2014 the love of my life, Jim Cannatella, ended his struggle and went home to be with the Lord. The one thing I wanted more than anything when we were married was children. He made sure that dream came true for me when we adopted Ashlie and Cody. We are all sad at his passing but so grateful that his long suffering is over and that he is at peace. 

Jim and I had a great marriage for over 20 years. It was when we both gave up that the marriage ended. I hope if you are married you will take the time to make your marriage work. I don't live with regrets but I know we could have made it work if we had tried harder.

I'm so glad Ashlie and Cody were with me after his passing. I am especially grateful that Daniel Calderon was there, not just for Ashlie but all of us. And the person Ashlie, Cody, and I are most grateful to is an angel named Janet Atkins. She was Jim's home care provider for the past two years. The last couple of months she hardly left his side even when she wasn't being paid for it. There are not many people like Janet Atkins around. We are forever indebted to her.

Jim is being cremated and his ashes will be spread at a place he shared with the kids growing up. He said he always wanted them to be able to go there and know that he was all around.

I know you are always with me and the kids, Jim. We had a good run and you will always and forever be the love of my life. Spread your wings and fly, baby. You are completely free now. Love, Caryn

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella.


Skinny Fiber Sales:  www.caryncann.com