DO YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE IN FEAR?

DO YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE IN FEAR?

I have lived with fear for so long it is almost second nature to me.  When I started my last weight loss journey with Skinny Fiber, I decided to start facing some fears and having some faith.

Did I ever tell ya'll one of my biggest fears about losing weight?  No?  Well, let me tell you.

When I was a young girl, about 12 or 13, my mother said some things to me like, "If you keep wearing things like that you will be raped." and "Go ahead, wear that, and you will end up a whore."  Now, as those who knew me growing up can attest, I wasn't really a provocative dresser.  lol   But her words made a deep impression on my psyche and my heart.

After years of therapy, self-examination, pondering and thinking, I finally admitted what one of my greatest fears was.  And of course, it was all about losing weight.

I can remember once when I had lost down to a size 9 in the 8th grade, my daddy said, "Look at her!  Pretty soon all the boys will be after her!"  Yep, I'm sure you know what happened.  That weight came right back on, and more.  I've never been a size 9 again.

In my mind, if I lost weight and had a slamming body I would either be raped or more likely, just a whore.  Being fat just seemed more acceptable to me.  My fat protected me.  It kept men at a distance.  Especially after my divorce.  Oh, I have dated off and on throughout the years but only one got close enough to get close enough, if you know what I mean.  He was gorgeous and a weight lifter.  I always wondered why he was with me, a fat girl with few muscles.  Ultimately it didn't matter.  He wasn't who he claimed to be anyway.  lol  He created himself just for me.  I must say he was made to order!

So here I am at 61 and losing weight.  I have faced more than a few fears during the last 16 or 17 months.  I've done things I never thought possible.  I now have the faith to move past that fear of being raped or being a whore..

And that faith is pushing and guiding me through my biggest fear.  Losing weight and getting healthy.  I know now that  I will succeed.  And who knows?  This time there just might be a man at the end of the rainbow!

copyrighted 2014

caryn cannatella

Skinny Fiber Sales:  www.caryncann.com