Friday, November 7, 2014

BLACK SHEEP OF THE FAMILY

BLACK SHEEP OF THE FAMILY







If you are, join the crowd!  I was and have always been the black sheep of the family.  I was always told I had the lowest IQ in the family, “probably no more than 100”.   It wasn’t until I was 55 that I learned it was actually 130.  It never really mattered to me.  I have told people for years that I am smarter than the average bear and that was good enough for me.

I never dated.  “Who would want a fat girl”, they said.  I now can say my ex-husband did (and many since then).  I must be honest.  My ex and I never dated.  He was a dj and I called in & requested a song.  We talked on the phone for over a month.  He invited me over to meet him.  I never left.  Oh, and of all the kids, my marriage lasted the longest.  What can I say?  Maybe dating is over-rated!   Lol

I never finished college.  “You never finish anything!”  I realized as I got older I finished many things, just not college.  Having said that, I’ve had great jobs, supported myself and later my children.  I’ve never asked anyone to help me out.  I’ve always been independent.  I can sew, crochet, throw pottery, paint, draw, cook, etch, knot, cross-stitch, just to name a few.  And I’ve finished many things!  And given everything I ever made away.

“I guess you will always be FAT!”  I certainly believed that one!  At 61 I finally know that I don’t have to be fat and I’m working my way down!  I still say I’m fat, a big girl, a chunky monkey, a biscuit above being thick.  And that’s ok.  It reminds me that I’m still on my journey but I know the fat is leaving and showing the real me that lives inside! 

“You’ll never amount to anything!”  I remind myself often how much I have accomplished in my life.  I started and ran a hotline for 5 years for people who had been abused.  I know my boss would say (and has) he wished he had hired me 5 years earlier.  My employees tell me I’m a great manager.  I have raised two awesome children.    At 61, my home is paid off, I am debt free, I am retiring to part-time in December 2014.  Even at part time I can live just like I live now.   I travel whenever I want.  And I have investments that will take care of me until I die.  Plus, I will leave my children an inheritance, which was a goal of my ex-husband and me.   I guess I have amounted to something, huh?

“You aren’t a good person.”  In fact, one family member called me evil.  Lol  I am a lot of things but evil isn’t one of them.  I’m not bragging but I am a very good person.  I help a lot of people and organizations.  I go out of my way to do for others.    Most people don’t know what I do because I prefer for my giving to be done in private.  I don’t need accolades.   And I’ll share a secret with you:  The more you give, the more you get.  The less you give; the less you get.  It’s a law of God.

Why am I sharing all this with you?  Well, first, I want you to know that I have finally realized that I am an AWESOME person!  And I bet you are too!  You know what we do as kids (and adults)?  We take those statements spoken over us and they become tapes in our heads.  We don’t even hear the voice of the person who originally said them.  We start to hear our own voice telling us those LIES!  And that is what they are.  Just lies!

We have to start changing the voice in our head.  When you hear one of the lies playing in your head, just say “STOP IT!”  “I am a good person!”  “I am smart!”  “I am desirable!”  “I am a success!”  “I have accomplished things!”  And , for me, “I WILL NOT ALWAYS BE FAT!”

There is nothing wrong with being the black sheep of the family.  It just means you follow your own path.  You are an independent person.  You stand out from the crowd.   When someone looks for you, you are easy to find.  You are the black sheep!  Embrace it and love yourself for being that!  You have made your own way in life and lived it the way you chose!  That makes you very special!  Now, say it out loud, “I AM VERY SPECIAL!” and believe it.

copyrighted
caryn cannatella

Skinny Fiber Sales:  www.caryncann.com

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